The oldest girl unlocked the “obtain a high school diploma” achievement. The youngest leveled up with honor roll and citizenship bonuses. Nothing to do now except sit back and coast into the next school year.
For families like mine summer becomes a depressing cycle of yelling about food. I find myself saying things like “You already had one caramel, the rest of the bag has to last as long as it can” and “If I make you that now, I’m not going to have enough to make you something later”.
Then, of course, there’s the clock watching. If my youngest eats breakfast at 7 am, she can’t have anything else until at least 10 am….then she spends the hour between 9 am and 10 am repeatedly asking for food that I can’t give her even though she’s obviously still hungry.
Apparently, kids like to eat. It’s like they think it’s a biological need of some kind. But, because we don’t qualify for food stamps while also not making enough money to be able to eat regularly, eating is a hassle.
Since I started this blog I have lost a total of five inches off my waist. I’m not complaining too much, I was kind of chunky so this isn’t a huge deal. But I still have to worry about the nutrition my kids get. Herein lies the problem.
When I go to Savealot, cause I can’t afford real grocery stores anymore, I can get hundreds of overly processed, high sugar, low nutritional value, food-esk substances.
For just over a dollar I can get half a dozen oatmeal cream pies….or one bell pepper.
I can get a total of 12, or 6 twin wrapped, nutty bars…or part of a bag of carrots.
For the price of a gallon of milk I can get three jugs of the mysteriously colored sugar water known as “drink”.
Nothing I can afford to feed my kids has any nutritional value. None. The things we can actually afford to eat can only be called food in the loosest terms. And it all tastes like ass….mostly because ass is an actual ingredient.
But when you’re trying to feed two kids and a husband, you get what you can get. Which in our case is a lot of “cheese food” and red sugar puree on yoga mats….also known as Little Caesar’s pizza.
Let me explain why we end up eating a lot of Little Caesar’s:
One pizza: $5.60
Instructions: Walk half a mile. Buy pizza, come home, eat pizza, recycle box
Four tiny cheap ass pork chops: $6
Cheap ass box of mac and cheese:$1
Can of mostly water and a couple of beans:$1
Instructions: Drive car ($) to store with best price on meat this week. Use stove ($). Eat. Use dish soap ($), water ($), hot water ($). Use facecloth to wash dishes.
Did you see what happened there? It actually ends up costing us more to buy food and eat at home than it does to eat a $5 pizza a night.
I’m trying to promote brain growth and development here; but all I can get is tomato flavored puree on yoga mats. THIS is why kids seem dumber now. There’s no such thing as nutrition so minds and bodies can’t develop properly anymore.
And I’ve still got months of this to get through.
Canned pineapple went on sale for $1 a can so I bought 4. The girls and I split a can three ways then I give the juice to them. My oldest daughter made a whole can last her five days. It was all she ate each day until dinner and she felt like she was being spoiled.
“Well why don’t you eat beans and rice instead?” you ask.
And I respond with “Clearly you have not looked at the price of a bag of beans lately.”
Did you know that it’s almost $3 a bag for black eyed peas? Now add the water needed to make it ($), the heat from the stove ($), the water and soap to wash the dishes you used ($)….just give up and buy a pizza.